Ralph W. Smyth

The Honourable

Ralph W. Smyth image

The honourable Ralph Smyth, pronounced [rafe smith] was born on March 15th, 1981 to parents Alfred and Elizabeth in the small town of London, England. Despite growing up in an upper class London home, Ralph had a tough childhood. He was born with HBS, or Hyper-Active Bowel Syndrome, which caused him to defecate more often than a normal child, and produce stool with no odor. This led to much ridicule from classmates in grammar school. To combat this, Ralph developed a love of practical jokes to shift the laughs onto others.  He was expelled from grammar school at the age of 17 after a practical joke went awry, leaving a truancy officer hairless. After the expulsion, there is no record of the next 3 years of Ralph’s life. When asked what he was doing during this time, he answered with one word…. “living.”

Upon rejoining society, Ralph began studying at Oxford where he received a masters in Business, History, and the History of Business in 18 months due to a clerical error. Upon further investigation, the Oxford education board discovered there had been a mistake: Ralph should have received his degrees two months prior. They granted him an honorary bachelors in Women’s Studies as a formal apology.

After a brief but eventful career in the army, Ralph made a small fortune in Government and Sovereign Nation Futures and parlayed the money into even greater wealth by forming businesses and enterprises all over the world.

One such business is a production company in Austin, Texas that bears his name and family coat of arms. Ralph took a liking to film after watching “The Man Who Never Cried” since he had never cried himself until the films conclusion, and coincidentally had the same first name as the titular character. For this reason he thought the artists would benefit from his patronage and hired them to run his newly formed production company despite never having met them.

When Ralph isn’t making money he spends his time giving it away at high-stakes charity baccarat. This selfless philanthropic spirit has no prejudice based on nation, creed or cause. With the lone exception being the Daughters of the American Revolution, because he denies the war ever happened.

Although he gives full creative control to the artists, he still maintains an eighty-one percent share, giving him full control over the others in the company.

He currently has no country of residence.



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